Have you ever seen the present How I Met Your Mom? It is a couple of bunch of flawed however lovable New Yorkers looking for (or cling onto) love as they undergo life’s adjustments, which vary from foolish to momentous. It’s a humorous, feel-good, and typically poignant sitcom.
However what I like most about it’s that it’s an ideal showcase of human attachment kinds.
When you don’t know what attachment kinds are, or haven’t ever seen the present, don’t fear. When you hear in regards to the characters and the way they personify every attachment model, you’ll you should definitely acknowledge your self or individuals you already know.
However first, what’s attachment? Attachment is the bond we kind with our first main caregiver, often a dad or mum. It’s a common human phenomenon that begins as early as in the womb, and the best way we develop it will definitely impacts the best way we discover, hold, and finish relationships.
There are 4 main kinds of attachment that folks kind early in life and tend to maintain into maturity. These kinds are:
- Fearful-avoidant (a.okay.a., disorganized)
To determine what model of attachment you are likely to have, there are quizzes you’ll be able to take (like this one). They ask you to agree/disagree with statements like, “I simply develop emotional ties to others,” “If a accomplice pushes me to determine a dedication, I freak out inside,” and, “If I’m not in a relationship, I’m no one.” You may see that these things are probing the best way we consider others and ourselves within the context of relationships and intimacy.
So what attachment model do you suppose you’ve? Nicely, let’s see for those who most carefully relate to Ted, Barney, or another person from How I Met Your Mom. On this first in a three-part sequence on attachment, we’ll let the beloved HIMYM characters information us by way of the 4 main attachment kinds:
1. Securely hooked up—Lily and Marshall
Lily and Marshall are the quintessential cute couple. They’ve quirky inside jokes; they’ve cute nicknames for one another (Lilypad and Marshmallow); they end one another’s sentences … however none of this cuteness overload explains why they’re securely hooked up.
When an individual has a safe attachment model, they really feel assured of their relationship and their accomplice. They really feel related, trusting, and cozy with having independence and letting their accomplice have independence whilst they freely categorical love. They attain out for assist once they want it and provide assist when their accomplice is distressed.
And that is the place Lily and Marshall excel. Their relationship wasn’t all puppies and rainbows for all 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mom. There have been occasions once they broke up, had household tragedies, frightened about constructing their very own household, and had terrible fights that appeared to shake the very basis of their future collectively. However by way of all of it, they basically trusted one another, brazenly confirmed affection (typically sufficient to make you gag), instructed one another their ideas and emotions even when it was tough, supplied assist when the opposite was unhappy and gave one another house when wanted.
This kind of attachment model begins when, early in life, a baby feels that their dad or mum is a safe base, in order that despite the fact that they’re completely happy to be with Mother or Dad, additionally they really feel assured sufficient to discover the world on their very own. Youngsters develop up this manner when their mother and father themselves are securely hooked up individuals, and once they use an authoritative parenting model, which means they’re concerned and agency, but additionally heat and permit independence.
Given Lily and Marshall’s personal safety and their loving model, I wager their youngsters will prove to have safe relationships of their very own.